Externally regulated affects
04-16-2025 • Ryan Prendergast
There are a lot of problems that come up in work. "I need this task done ASAP." "Oh i just thought of this possible issue". People who do a lot of work, deal with lots of problems. How they approach these problems is illustrative. The most common archetype of person in the workplace gets visibly frustrated and anxious when problems come up. Their body language and nervous tone rub off on the other people in the room, who mirror the anxiety. The problem is just work, something like "our Q1 goal is blocked by shipment A", but if you didn't know that you'd think it's fight-or-flight, like they're being chased by a 500lb gorilla.
A lot of people seem to think that feeling fight-or-flight about work is just how life works. But it's not inevitable! It has a source! The source is the person who regulates their own anxiety by publicizing it in their tone and body language to offload it onto other people.
This mode of operating is strongly overrepresented among startup and business people. At an old job I had a coworker with a strong external affect. When an unexpected problem came up she would become "ughhhh" personified. People would try to assuage the affect as quickly as possible, because people would mirror her mood and panic, like we were all in danger.
This anecdote hints at the reason why fight-or-flight is overrepresented: it is a dominant strategy. People who offload their affects are more successful on average than those who don't. Fight-or-flight increases output, at least locally, and it induces other people into solving your problems. Further, it is contagious. It is almost impossible to completely ignore visible anxiousness and nervousness, because even if you choose to ignore it, body language and tone of voice affect your subconscious.
Everything you consume that was the output of a corporate process, you should consider that the people who made it were panicked like they were being chased by a lion. This is the genesis of the weird non-humanness of corporate and institutional outputs, like LinkedIn Speak.
My untested theory is that what makes a successful executive is how well they shut down, minimize, or manage other people's fight-or-flight responses. I am highly sensitive to my own affect, and I get extremely annoyed at affect-bleeding. I wonder if it's possible to filter out such people at the interview stage.
There is a French term that is the opposite of fight-or-flight, sangfroid. "Composure or coolness, sometimes excessive, as shown in danger or under trying circumstances".